My friend John and I have spent years trying to outdo each other with random, absurd tokens of friendship.   To name a few (that are Dozen-appropriate, of course)…bacon strip band aids, ‘coffee table’ books such as ‘Hot hunks of the 80’s’ featuring  that guy with the cool hair from Kajagoogoo, new-fangled ‘button up’ leg warmers and Honey Baked hams.

Recently, he came to my house for dinner.   He was looking quite pleased when he arrived and said (in that sing-songy voice someone speaks in when they are about to tickle you)… “I brought you a special present.” 

Given the occasion (dinner party), I suspected it might a fun hostess gift.  My face lit up in curious delight.

I started guessing … ‘Ooh.…is it…the Hillary nutcracker?   A Popsicle maker?  The Tupperware Pick-A-Deli????

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands”  he said. 

So I did and it felt too lightweight to be anything I’d imagined.  It was as light as a feather, in fact, and it was wrapped in plastic.

 I opened my eyes quickly and looked down.  “Huh? What is it?” I asked.

“It’s a hair band” he said, “I thought you could use it to hold your hair back when you wash your face”

It was purple.  Good color. 

I pulled it from the wrapper. 

It had a white logo on it.  I looked closer…“BOTOX ®Cosmetic” it read.

“It’s stupid.” I said. 

“Precisely.” he replied.

That night, I put on the hair band, washed my face and looked in the mirror.  And then I began looking closer and closer.  I hadn’t really thought to look for wrinkles before.  But there I was examining my face from several angles…

BOTOX ®Cosmetic … it shouted out at me.  Jumping off of its purple platform like a theatrical 3 year old “Look at me!  Look at me!”

It got me thinking…is it really stupid?  Or really clever?

I’m sure doctors get tired of those pharma -branded freebies.  They must have tons of Lipitor pens and Paxil calendars.  Sure, it’s a reminder of brands they can prescribe but is it the most effective way to get the end consumer?

Then there’s my Botox hair wear. ..That when conveniently placed around the head of the consumer transforms into an instant spokesperson… reminding them to look for wrinkles…identify fine lines… and seriously contemplate…

When I went to a job interview at BMP in London in my callow youth, I remember debating with the interviewer (who happened to be the Head of Account Management), about the maxim "All publicity is good publicity"?  I argued in favor, saying that anything that got people talking about a brand was better than the brand meaning nothing.  I thought I was smart, calling those boring brands, "blands".  He, on the other suggested that negative publicity would have the effect of actively dissuading you from choosing a brand rather than just being ambivalent about it.  Rather than being open to a conversation with a "bland", you are never open to a conversation with a negative brand - that's why he was Head of Account Management and I was a mouthy student.

I'll let you watch this spot for Extended Stay Hotels and decide what you think.  I'm certainly aware of that brand now, whereas 20 minutes ago I'd never heard of them, but would I say good things about them?  No.

Thanks to George for finding this and providing his usual acerbic take.

If you Google "James Frey", you get the image results up first, with him sitting on Oprah's couch getting publicly taken apart by the Queen of TV (or the Queen of the Free World, depending on your opinion).  The 5th Google link takes you to the Smoking Gun website and its page entitled "A Million Little Lies" - the expose that revealed James Frey as "the man who conned Oprah".  If James Frey was a brand, which I suppose you could argue he is, one might assume he was still in a hole. 

I haven't read A Million Little Pieces, his 2005 memoir/novel, but the controversy around that book was so acute, I already had a negative opinion of him as a fabricator and liar. My desire to question that judgment made me pick up his new book "Bright Shiny Morning", on the way back from a trip a couple of weeks ago.  It's a fabulous read.  

The narrative tells the stories of people in modern LA following their dreams, with the city itself as the central character. Anyone who lives in LA, or spends any time there should read this book. As I became more engrossed, I realized that there was another layer of story with this book - that of the writer himself.  I was reframing my opinion of him, the book was a redemption of James Frey in my mind.

It got me thinking about brand forgiveness. How much are we prepared to tolerate from our closest brands before we give them up? In a lot of cases, not much at all.  I'd love to see a chart that had the worlds top brands given a "forgiveness rating".  Who'd be top?

My dogs are fed the most premium of premium pet foods.  They get organic biscuits and sockeye salmon oil supplements on a daily basis.  To top it all off, they have an eternally flowing doggie water fountain, complete with filter, on a plush mat in my kitchen.

At bedtime, they have their choice of my bed or one of four special dog beds:  a ‘cooling’ bed for those nights when central air conditioning just won’t cut it, two faux fur beds with extra supportive inserts and an orthopedic (molds to their body) bed with a soft suede exterior.

I thought I was really pampering my pets until I read an article in USA Today recently.

Apparently, for a premium price, hotels in both the U.S. and Europe are offering gourmet meals to pets traveling with their humans.  Here’s an example of what’s available:

At the Arizona Biltmore Resort & Spa in Phoenix…. your pooch can enjoy “Zen Yo” ($11), a vegetable stir-fry served with poached eggs and steamed brown rice that's meant to help pets with jet lag.

Chicken liver pâté ($7) and braised New Zealand lamb served on a bed of rice ($15) are some of the decadent doggie offerings at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Tampa.

Would I, personally, order these for my dogs?  Probably not…however, knowing that these places cater to my best friends, I would definitely put them at the top of the list of places I’m likely to stay.

Incidentally, my dogs think crunching on lettuce cores, gnawing toilet paper right off the roll and nabbing a piece of pasta that’s fallen onto the kitchen floor are absolute ‘prizes’ .  To them, that’s even more of a treat than their gourmet bison and blueberry biscuits. 

In addition, sleeping on the cool hardwood floor (in summer) or inside of a freshly laundered basket of clothes (in winter) is their idea of ultimate comfort. 

However, whether or not my dogs partake of the amenities I offer them, the one thing these dog-friendly brands give me is peace of mind.  I know I’m doing the best I can for them … even if they choose a plastic soda bottle for fetching instead of an ‘ergonomically-designed’ chew toy that claims to clean their teeth and improve their dexterity.

I received a disturbing revelation this year – my 67-year-old father is a rabid Gossip Girl fan.  Troubling as this information is to the delicate balance of my personal world order, I have to hand it to the teen-drama for their summer print promotions for next season.

Ingeniously, they have taken all of the most negative critical reviews from a variety of media outlets and social organizations, over-layed them on the most racy stills they could get away with and produced…perfection.

Quotes include:

“Every parent’s nightmare” – Boston Herald

“A nasty piece of work” – The New York Post

“Mind blowingly inappropriate” – The Parents Council

“Very bad for you” – The San Diego Union-Tribune

Provocative, salacious, rebellious, shocking and riveting, these ads reflect the spirit of the show and are a perfectionist’s example of turning negative PR into gold.

I have no idea who’s creative idea this was, but whoever you are: nice one.

I'm spending a lot of my time these days thinking about snacks, and at the same time am always interested in the idea of mass customization (the idea that millions of people can personalize something so it feels like it's unique to them..Starbucks is a great example, Dominos Pizza Builder was brilliant ).  I came across this company called You Bar, which is all about customized granola bars.  The site basically allows you to create your own bar with 8 different variables (added nuts, dried fruits, nutritional boosts etc), and then you can name your bar and have it shipped to you.  I thought this was a brilliant idea until I saw how much this cost.  With shipping and handling, it cost $48 for 12 bars, or $4 a bar.  For the poor souls living in Canada who might want to try this out it was $70 for 12 or $5.83 a bar.  Not quite mass customization.  Sure, You Bar isn't Nature's Valley or Quaker, so the economies of scale can't be there, but surely their pricing structure limits their chances of gaining some ground.  I'd love for them to succeed, but is this idea good enough to merit that premium price?  Unfortunately, I don't think so, what do you think?

Egg is at the PSFK Conference in San Francisco today. Getting inspired by interesting speakers, learning about collaboration, new ways of working and how to find and use trends.  It's all good stuff.  You can check out what the speakers are saying live, with the Live Notes here - updated at the end of everyone' speech in real time - Amazing.

1.  The dueling essays in Parade magazine, by Barack Obama and John McCain on the meaning of Patriotism, are the most revealing demonstration of generational differences in aspirations and values I've seen in a very long time.  We're changing as a society, in ways that neither side of the generational barbell can quite understand.

High gas prices have inspired (compelled?) yet another innovation:  changing the design of a gallon of milk so that it is cheaper to ship and more environmentally friendly (more containers can be packed into a truck).  Added benefits include fresher milk and lower prices.  Still, there seem to be too many consumer complaints: spills more frequently, hard for kids to handle, and loss of the beloved “spout.”  Sam’s Club is even offering demonstrations (complete with cookies!) to try and alleviate consumer frustration.

I wonder if the industrial design team spent enough time with the consumer – watching and listening in homes, during dinner, after school – and incorporating consumer feedback into their design from the beginning.  Indeed, it seems an incredible opportunity to not only increase package efficiency but, while you’re in there already redesigning the line, to surprise and delight your consumer with easier to open, easier to pour, and fresher milk.  Interestingly, it seems taking the time upfront to understand the consumer perspective seems particularly important for such a nostalgic item.  It would be a shame for this environmentally-friendly redesign to fail because it ignored the needs of those who always make the final call: consumers.

We can reasonably assume that all adults living today, even those that work in marketing, were once teenagers.  But it is amazing to see how soon we forget how it felt to adolesce; that above all, most teenagers want to be treated and spoken to as what they are – young adults – and not coddled, patronized or dismissed by society as we so often do.

A few groundbreaking campaigns in recent years have dared to communicate with young adults as they are: intelligent, thoughtful, fully aware participants in society.  Most notable of these is probably the Truth anti-smoking campaign by Crispin Porter + Bogusky. 

Following close in its heels, however, is this anti-binge drinking campaign (a realistic goal advocating moderation not abstinence in alcohol consumption - click on the picture to see one of the spots) launched in England introduced by Amelia Torode in her blog.  Similar to the truth campaign, these TV spots de-glamorize the over-indulgence of alcohol by displaying, in naked clarity, how very unaspirational drunkenness really is. 

Bravo, well done. 

Three spots featured:

The Girl's Night Out

The Boy's Night Out

Fashion Show 

In Julie's post yesterday, she calls on brands to reject the false and fake and infuse their advertising with authenticity.  I recently saw a great spot from Nike that does just that.   

Admittedly, you may think The Dozen has turned from marketing and innovation blog to a Nike soccer blog – but bear with me for this post – as I think it’s a great lesson in brand authenticity. We all know that Nike can do the big and glossy spots with all the superstars - we even blogged about it a couple weeks ago.  But this new commercial is born from a song that originated on the football terraces at Anfield (Liverpool's storied stadium). Nike took that song, plus the local fans' love for their new striker Fernando Torres and turned it into an Iberian love-fest. I love the ad, but others don't agree, including Scott Murray at the Guardian who upon seeing the spot, wrote the following:

For goodness sake -  that Torres "Liverpool's number nine" [song], has already been appropriated by Nike for an advert. Is there nothing the moneymen won't sully? Can these people never leave things be, even if it's just for a year or two?

I completely disagree. I think it's a true statement of authenticity, when brands are inspired (some might say steal…) from real life like this. Surely that's the only path to authenticity and connection. Sure, there's elements that are fake (I can't really imagine Liverpudlian's swapping fish n' chips for tapas), but the heart of the idea is genuine and real and that's the important difference. I think this idea demonstrates how local fans worship their favorite players wherever they come from and there's no greater form of flattery in football than having a song created for you by the fans.

Here’s the song being sung on the terraces at a Liverpool match via a You Tube clip from someone’s camera phone…and here’s the spot itself.  Judge for yourself. Apparently even the dog walking with Torres in the park at the end is his own.

Consumers have turned on us.  They've changed.  9 out of 10 consumers don’t trust advertisers anymore.  Now, that’s not all our fault.  We didn’t create this situation.  Or, rather, we didn’t create this situation…alone.  There are a lot of other institutions and individuals that played their hands to get us here.  As Pines and Gilmore say in “Authenticity” – the opposite of quality used to be junk.  Now it’s fake.  Consumers been faked out, lied to, misled, and generally betrayed an awful lot.

And what is advertising if not “fake”?  How many of you say to your kids – sweetie, that’s not the show, that’s the commercials, you don’t need to watch that.  Fast forward.   Our industry creates advertorial, which we design specifically to make our stuff look like the real stuff.  

How can we ever hope to succeed if consumers look at us - when they do look at us - as false?  And how will you make your brand real?  When we talk about brand authenticity these days, we need to think about everything a brand says and does, and even how they say it.

Get real.  Now.